From Here I Shall Wait
by Nightmare07
Summary: What Chris felt when he saw his mothter in the past. Just a shot oneshot during Chris' stay in the past.


Hey guys this is just a one-shot I just needed to write. I just thought that Chris must have suffered to some degree during his stay in the past. This is from Chris' POV.

Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed, obviously.

BTW: Reviews are always welcomed. If you have time stop by my other fic "Family Ties."

Now on with the one-shot.

From Here I Shall Wait

I stand in the same house where all my childhood memories took place. I stand in the same attic where I created, chanted, and reversed so many spells. I stand in front of the same book where all my knowledge of magic came from. I stand in front of the same person who built those memories, who taught me to create, chant and reverse those spells. In front of the person who introduced me to the book that held the knowledge of many generations of Halliwell. I'm standing in my home, in front of my mother.

But who am I kidding.

I look around the attic where, in a few years, Wyatt and I will be playing, hiding, and fighting in. I am surrounded by everything I grew up around. I know where everything is in this house. I can tell you mom which corner of the attic has the loose floorboards where I used to hide all my Halloween candy in. I can tell you which part of the house I used to sneak out during the middle of the night. I can tell you so many things mom if you knew who I am.

You know who I am though, don't you. I am the neurotic whitelighter from the future that came to ruin your life. I am the sarcastic whitelighter that gets on the last of your nerves. I am the obsessive whitelighter who has you vanquishing demons left and right.

Yes, I may be all those thing mother but I am also your son. I am the son who you raised with nothing but love. I am the son who stuck with you 24/7. I am the son who cooked oatmeal cookies with you on the days that I felt sad.

I stand here looking as you flip through the pages of the Book of Shadows. You stand there completely ignoring me. That's what you do now in days. You ignore me because you can't trust me. I did tell the truth, I am here to save your son from turning evil, but you don't believe me. You don't believe me because you think I am some sort of evil.

If only you knew mother.

If only you knew how much it hurts to be here and not be able to tell you how much I love you. How much it hurts to have your distrust, your hate, and your reproach. It hurts to not be able to hug you. I can't go to you when I feel like the world is going to fall on me. I couldn't go to you when I lost Bianca.

Growing up I went to you for everything. With Leo gone, I never knew any other parent beside you. You took me to all those baseball games, those action movies, hell you even took me on those boring fishing trips. You did everything to make me feel better whenever Leo took Wyatt on those trips. You never wanted me to feel like I wasn't worthy of being a son. You knew that I felt inferior to Wyatt because I wasn't Twice-Blessed, but you never gave up on trying to get that idea out of my head. Mom you were everything to me.

I can't tell you any of this though. I'm twenty year in the past and I'm not even born. I'm nobody. You threw me out of this house, months ago, without a second thought about it. You've insulted me on countless occasions. You mock my determination on saving your son. You criticize me on my whitelighter skills. And you know what else mother, you have yet to say sorry.

I'm not asking for a grand apology or a teary speech just a simple 'sorry.' Is that too much to ask?

I remember how you were mom. You were a kind person. You were a forgiving person. No, you will be a kind and forgiving person. You're not one yet; would you be if I told you I was your son?

Would you change if I told you I was your son?

Of course you would.

You would love me. You would tell me nothing but caring words. You would worry for me every time I sent you guys on demon vanquishes.

Does that mean if I wasn't your son you would have never put up with me? Is that the reason why you cared for me because I was family? You know how I am but you can't stand the sight of me. You hate me. You only put up with me because I am your son.

Great, I travel to the past to save my brother from turning evil, I meet my deceased mother, and I discover she hates the person that I am. Ha, my life is like one of those soaps Aunt Phoebe used to watch.

My mother hates me.

"Chris, are you alright?"

I look at you and you have the same concerned look you had when Aunt Paige left me at the movies.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking."

You were furious with her. She met a guy there and forgot I came with her. You were in hysterics when you picked me up. You wouldn't stop hugging me. You were more scared than I was; And I was the one who sat in the bench Aunt Paige left me in for three hours.

"Oh really about what?" you ask.

You always want to try and figure something about me. Sometime I really do want to tell you about everything.

"My mother," I said.

You smile, the first smile you've given me since I've arrived here.

"She must be a pretty great woman."

"No," I see you frown at my answer. "But she will be. She'll be the best."

_'Just because you're my son doesn't mean I have to like you, it just means I have to love you.'_

I remember now. You told me the same thing when I trashed your kitchen on my eleventh birthday.

I am your son and you do love me. It doesn't matter if I get on your nerves, hell Paige did that all the time.

No, you may not like me, but you will. You will find out who I am someday. You will be that wonderful mother that tucked me in at night. The one that sang to me, played with me, cooked with me. You will be the mother that I loved.

Until that day though...

I will stand here and wait.

From here I shall wait, mother. Wait and see how you turned into that wonderful mother that gave her life for me.

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